FemaleUnited StatesMember since 21 Jul 15Last online 2 months ago

(AKA Lillith3699)
I'm an oddball and I like most music. I like a lot of bands/artists, five finger death punch, skillet, paramore, Evanescence, etc...
I like to take cliche story's and twist them up and giving them original story lines. I have wattpad under the same username if your interested. I am a coauthor of a book on wattpad. I love art and well as long as you don't make me mad I'm nice and avoid foul language towards me. XD that's about it. XD

Broken Promises

by , Thursday November 9, 2017
 Broken Promises
Yes I'm alive and no I'm not depressed for any who read this I have a oddly balanced mind that gets blurred between the two lines so I middle in both. I will admit I'm a bit insane though. We all make promises. We all break them, not all hopefully but most. I promised my self many things. I promised to write a book To bring a new light into the darkness of repeattion. To be a friend who doesn't walk away Who never dissapears To bring someone happiness To never break people To never leave those that I care most about. To make them feel safe. I broke many of these if not all. I promise but what's a promise if you break it. I've never finished the third part, let alone a whole book I've walked away from many friends. I've disappeared to some. I never brought that person happiness. I've broken to many people, I watched them shatter in front of me with nothing else I could do. I pleaded and begged them to hold on let me make it right and yet sometimes that was broken too. I've managed to isolate myself and in turn left those I cared for. My insanity is only affecting me yet those around never feel safe. How do you keep them close to you. How do we get them to stop running? How do we stop them from breaking? Why is it we seem to be the only ones who are in a strange state so boarded in the middle of all in the Grey area instead of a black and white, some see a bit of the other but very few can see it in the gray in the gray there are to many colors mixing between the black and white which to choose, which to fallow ? We told are self that we'd pick one and make something of our selves and yet we're stuck looking between the black and white or the colors. Is it possible to have both? Are we mad. Do we need help do we need a new light do we need someone to drag us out of this pit that we've fallen into and can't seem to claw out of? Who knows. Do we deserve it? Who knows. Are we alone? Who knows. We fight ourselves and others. were torn between no right no wrong. And yet we don't make a sound. We go to war yet nothing is resolved. We're here in a limbo we know nothing of. Yet we see it all.

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  • Noxi Pendragon

    mumbled "We all need a savior but first you have to be one."

    1 Like
    Im not with out flaws. I am Human. I deal with my pain others cause to me by not letting it get to me; however, its a flaw. It wont let me let others in close to the darkness within where someone is needed. If you believe you dont have one your wong the thought you dont is one in its self. There is no truly perfect there is acceptance of flaws. The human population can beyond cruel for may reasons but one is there ability to destroy others for flaws they have. I personally dont think perfect is a true word. It has corrupted many of thoughts and caused many to destroy something or someone because of "perfection" we need to quit trying to make perfect and make acceptance. Acceptance is for all those who are broken, their dreams, their hopes, and help them get there. Dont break someone because there flawed learn to accept them build their confidence to live with humanity not to hide from it. The broken, flawed, and scarred need acceptance and love, not distance and hate. Instead of pushing someone away pull them close and hold them tightly because they just might disappear. Dont let them slip away because you may be there only hope and not know it. You could save someone from becoming utterly and irreversibly shattered.
  • Noxi Pendragon

    mumbled "sometimes"

    Sometimes we could all use a how are you? Today was I day I could have used one because driving down the road bawling out your eyes at 55 mph is a little hard. Why? someone may ask. Because I was sad. I spent the last 18 years with my mother I spent all the holidays together with her andy sister. In May I moved 18 hours away from them and my stepdad and brother. I love them all dearly and I was great with the move and was even cool without them on Halloween but now that the holidays that we've spent so much time together previously that not seeing them in over 6 months and special holiday that you're supposed to spend time with them have me rather upset. But I'm okay I just want to be able to be with my family. So as much as I needed a how are you? I shall give a gift to those that read this and need one. How are you doing?
  • Noxi Pendragon

    mumbled "peeved"

    I'm so peeved right now. My dog torr up the bathroom rug then drug the hallway rug behind one of the chairs and then one of the two pissed on the kitchen rug. So I think it's crate time and I really don't want to put her in one but she can't stop messing up the house when Im not home.
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