The Complexities of Muggle Machinery

Harry bought a refrigerator. Then it was a microwave. Then a blender. Thursday was the coffee brewer. Ron really liked that last one.

Author's note

Not epilogue compliant! Canon divergence.

1. The Complexities of Muggle Machinery

"What're you doing now?" Ron asked, resting his chin on Harry's shoulder.

Harry sighed. He'd gotten the same question from the redhead every time he did something fascinating, as Ron put it. Ron and Arthur were more alike than they thought.

"Surely you've seen a microwave before," Harry said, shrugging so Ron would move his head.

Any other time, Ron being so close to him was fine–great, even–but Harry was more than a little busy at the moment. Learning how to use a microwave required a lot of his attention.

"Nope," Ron chirped, moving away from his boyfriend to sit on the counter.

Harry tried not to be bothered by that. It wasn't like he'd just cleaned the counters, but he still wasn't quite used to someone being so relaxed in the kitchen. Petunia definitely hadn't been.

"It heats things up," Harry replied shortly.

One day, Ron would understand Muggle technology, but today was not that day. Harry slightly regretted buying a microwave now. Ron could be so much work, but it was all worth it when Harry was actually able to look at Ron and see how awed he was, face lit up and eyes wide.

"Oh, how?" Ron asked curiously, leaning forward.

Harry didn't think that, at that moment, Ron would need to know about radiation. It might make his head explode.

"I dunno," Harry said instead of getting into the way Muggle things worked.

"Is it like. . . the Muggle heating charm?"


Ron nodded in satisfaction. Harry continued to read the instruction manual for the microwave. He didn't want to screw anything up.

"Can you put anything in there?" Ron asked after a long pause.

Harry supposed that it was a good thing his boyfriend had a healthy thirst for learning now, even if it was a bit late in life. It was still a little annoying to deal with, though.

"Only food. Oh, and make sure you don't put metal in here," Harry replied, flipping the page in the manual, not bothering to look at Ron.

"Why not?" Ron asked.

"It'll explode."

Harry was slightly amused and glad that he'd gotten to say that so bluntly. He turned and looked at Ron, half-expecting him to be eagerly reaching for their forks. Instead, Ron was staring intently at Harry.

"You mean we have a bomb in our house?" he asked.

He looked a bit queasy and horrified as he said it. Harry blinked. Ron had a very good point.

"Er, I suppose we do," Harry said, a little stunned by the revelation.

"Bloody hell, Harry. Remind me not to accidentally put a fork in there," Ron murmured, shaking his head.

Harry breathed a laugh, but he mentally reminded himself to buy post-it-notes. Then he could write "No metal" on one and put it on the microwave. Ron would have fun with sticky notes.

Harry and Ron had bought their first flat together a year or two after the War. Harry had only just now started to buy appliances, because who needed those when you had Mrs. Weasley and Hermione? But then the two women got frustrated with them, hence the end of their relying on other people for food and coffee. Harry supposed it was for the best, even if Ron wanted to use the toaster as a way to hold sponges, resulting in small kitchen fires.

Harry's week continued on like this after he started buying appliances. Monday was a refrigerator. Tuesday was the microwave. Wednesday was a blender. Thursday was the coffee brewer.

"What's that?" Ron asked, practically ripping the box from Harry's hands as soon as he saw the word "coffee" on it.

"You don't even know how to use that," Harry said, amused, as Ron tore the box open.

"I know enough that I won't die. So, teach me how to use this," Ron replied immediately.

Harry rolled his eyes and prepared himself to attempt to teach Ron about the machine.

One hour later, they were still trying to figure out which buttons to push to actually get the coffee they so desperately needed. It was two in the morning, they were running on fumes now and sleep–of course–was not an option. Unfortunately for their egos, their bodies wouldn't allow them to just not sleep.

"It's like it's not even in English," Ron said tiredly, resting his head on Harry's shoulder.

Harry yawned.

"Maybe we should just Floo to Hermione's?" he suggested, hardly even aware of his hand reaching down to hold Ron's.

"Oh . . . should we put this thing in that little outlet?" Ron asked hesitantly.

He was holding the white cable that was supposed to be plugged in. Harry nearly smacked his forehead. How could he forget something so simple?

"Er, I forgot about that," Harry said sheepishly.

Ron snorted and handed Harry the cord. The black-haired man blushed and plugged it in. Ron threw his hands in the air as the machine's lights blinked on.

"Alas! It works!" he said happily.

Harry smiled tiredly.

"I am too tired to be a functioning person right now," he said.

"But we have coffee now," Ron said, his voice reaching a slightly-whiny pitch.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"We can have coffee in the morning. You have work, remember?" he said, putting his hands on his hips and staring up at Ron sternly.

Ron's eyes went wide.

"I forgot about that," he admitted.

"I thought so," Harry replied, shaking his head fondly.

Ron may be forgetful, but he was Harry's forgetful boyfriend.

"I'll call in sick," the redhead said after a moment, shrugging.

Harry smacked his forehead.

"Okay, then," he said.

Honestly, he'd expected that to come from Ron's mouth. But it was one thing to expect it and another to actually hear it.

"We should sleep," Ron said, grabbing Harry's hand and tugging him across their flat to their bedroom.

"Of course," Harry said lightly.

He let Ron drag him into bed and curl up beside each other. They fell asleep soon after that, but they'd realize in the morning that they'd lost the instructions to the coffee brewer. Which meant they'd either have to buy a whole other coffee machine for the instructions or they'd have to–as frightening as it sounded–use their scary laptop and use the internet instead.

The Muggle world seemed a lot more complex than Harry remembered it being. But it was worth learning about, as long as he had Ron and Ron was happy.

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