The true tale of what Cheshire is hiding beneath the smile...


1. You Crazy Old Fool...

Nothing changes around here, it's all the same.

Alice is praised, I'm ignored, that's how the system works. I don't mind... not really.

However, since August the 5th, a feeling burrowed its self deep into the back of my mind. That feeling has cracked my poor lonely skull and left me vulnerable to attack, vulnerable from the eyes of mere creatures who only look at me through evil and hate,  these are the creatures in the whole of Wonderland, they loath my entire existence...I apologise if I may, as it appears that I am rambling on, as I can tend to be extremely dismissive and exaggerative.

Oh dear, I shall start again.


On the chilling and peculiarly calm evening of August the 5th, Alice was peering beneath the depths and the hollowed out trees of my forest. It was obvious that something was troubling her, she would never adventure through this collection of trees without that orange haired mad man, he follows her everywhere, But nevertheless here she was, her forehead was furrowed as she was preparing herself for some intense interrogation that may include for her reason of visit. 

"Cheshire!? Come out, you crazy old fool... I know your hiding from me."  Alice bellowed into the night, she was not the slightest bit reserved, which worried me for her safety.

"Shh!! Don't you realise what your doing? Shouting at-the-top-of-your-lungs will awake the residents that call this ghastly forest their abode! Do you not own any manners? Let alone decency..." I uttered between the small cracks of my lips, while hoovering above her.

"Cheshire! While your cooked up in your stupid forest, the tea festival has already commenced, your late as it is? Why didn't you come earlier?"

"Alice.... You know feeble tea parties, or even festivals, aren't my thing, as you see.. I don't even like tea..."

"YOU DON'T LIKE TEA!?" The forest echoed with my reply, and to my horror, the entire Committee appeared from beyond the darkness of my humble forest. 

"Alice! I thought you came alone, you tricked me.." Devastated, at Alice's tickery attempts, I bowed my head in shame, not daring to look at the Committee members scattered across the forest ground, as I already felt the burning holes, deep inside my chest.

"As we hoover upon the subject of trickery, I, the Mayor of Wonderland, sentence Cheshire to a lengthy 2 months of confinement in The Tea Recruitment Centre, where Rookies and Tea Amateurs begin to start their training to be allowed a Wonderland permit. Deception is a lethal tea... very lethal." I craned my neck to see the Mad Hatter perching on a stone and staring into my innocent eyes, I hadn't done anything wrong!!

Is it illegal for a cat to have his own opinions?

I thought so.

Without stealing a glance at Alice's pure face, I willingly let the Bodycards take me into the van and push me into the back seat.

Did I mention that The Mad Hatter had invented petrol? 


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